To Forget is to Die a Little
by tcdfics
Summary: Even with death and forgotten memories, Emma and Regina will always find each other. Swan Queen! * Some parallels with The Vampire Diaries Season 6 of Damon and Elena. I'm a Rumbelle shipper too so there's a little mention in there*
1. Chapter 1

A/N

**submitted to the collections/ouat_ff_xchange_s5b ** This is my first Swan Queen fic ever and my first ever fic following a specific prompt. I truly tried my best. I hope you enjoy. :) I also may have been carried away. I hope you like it. But do tell me your honest opinions. Prompt: Person A has died/been dead for some time and Person B sees the dead. Emma and Regina can be either person. You may include as many other characters or "ghosts" to showcase their abilities. Just give me angst and heartbreak and them falling in love despite the circumstances. No noncon, suicide, or scatplay

-x-

Emma is running fast. It's night time and she is in the woods running bare feet, occasionally looking back to see what's chasing her from behind. She continues to run until she falls in a cliff. Mid air, as she falls down, time stopped.

She woke up. And she's not surprised. This has been a recurring dream for weeks and it has been a routine. She wakes up from the dream and instantly remembers, Regina has died.

For weeks, she tried to face reality - grieve, wallow, drown herself in sadness, humour her loved ones by going out with them, doing "normal" things. But today it's different; she wants to do something. She has to do something different. As she stood up from the bed, she saw on the calendar, what day it was, August 15. 8-15. Again the set of numbers that will change her life again.

August 15 was the day it all worked. No one knew that Emma was trying some pretty weird magic she has never done before, well except one person. Sure, she has intervened, danced with death's rules with what she did with the excalibur for Hook, but nothing on this weird level.

Emma waved her hand again for the last time hoping this would work.

"Emma?"

"Regina! It worked. We can see each other." Emma spoke with so much glee and disbelief coupled with fear and also, relief.

Regina ran to Emma and hugged her tight.

"Well we can also touch." After a minute of hugging, Regina kissed Emma like she never kissed her before. A kiss of longing and a kiss of new beginnings. Stronger than the longing when they finally admitted to each other for the first time that they love each other. More passionate and more thirsty for newer beginnings they can share.

"I am so happy that you are here. I can't describe my happiness. But... how are you here, Emma?"

"Well..."

"You did not kill yourself, did you?! Emma, we talked about this and we both made a pact. No one would kill herself or forcefully put herself in harm's way just so we could be together after death. Miss Swan-"

"I miss you calling me that. I hear you say that in my dreams but now it's real."

Emma taunts Regina. She missed seeing her annoyed because she thinks Regina is the cutest when angry.

"Answer the question, Emma. Oh and I have missed you too."

"I have missed you too so much. You don't know what I've been through." Emma slowly kissed Regina. Emma pulled away, biting softly Regina's lower lip. "And no, I did not kill myself."

"Good. I don't want that. So how are you here?"

"I asked help from Gold."

"He asked for a thing to exchange? That's what he does."

"No, he did not. He said this is for a limited time only and that he can't help me any further."

*  
Everyday, Emma visits Regina in this weird state of a world. Regina wasn't in the underworld. Maybe she's in some magical purgatory but it doesn't matter for now. They are not after comprehension, at least for now. What they both want is time together. And this, once thought impossible is at their fingertips now.

Today they agreed to meet in the park. Picnic mats, food basket, even wine in a sunny afternoon. Good thing in this 'prisoner world' there are no other people, not that Regina minds.

"And what did you bring to me for today, Miss Swan?"

"Oooohhh I thought you might like some marshmallows to go with your fireballs."

"Wait... what?"

"No, I mean literally. Regina, for once we shouldn't have sex all the time-"

"Oh is that a problem now?"

"I meant, we should do some other things."

"I thought that was what the marshmallows are for?"

"Okay, fine, but later. I just want to maximise all the time we have by doing different things. Who knows, when this would all end? I just want a lot of new, beautiful memories with you."

"I know. I know." Regina sighed and then moved closer to Emma. She hugged her, kissed her in the forehead and then slowly, passionately kissed her on the lips. After a moment or two, Regina spoke, "So, let's start with our marshmallow party, huh?"

Emma smiled like a child. She remembered how Regina once, well a lot of times, told her she eats like a child. One particular moment that crossed her mind was back when they were in the Mayor's office, brainstorming about the then author. She smiled at this memory.

Regina conjured up a fireball to make a small bonfire. They both got their marshmallows on stick and dipped them in the fire.

"Open up, Emma."

"Wait, you mean-"

"I thought you said, 'do other things' ?"

"Right." Emma opened her mouth to receive the marshmallow Regina was giving her. "I really, really love marshmallows."


	2. Chapter 2

"Emma, this isn't working."

"Yeah I know. I got this new information from Belle and I think it's-"

"No, Emma, this, all of this isn't working anymore."

"Exactly why I am looking for new ways-"

"Damn it, Emma. You are denying what I'm saying here. You understand but you stand there like everything's possible."

"It is still possible. This meet ups with better ways, even bringing you back."

"No, stop. Let's stop this."

"What? Why?"

"We both need to move on."

Emma was astounded. These words never crossed her mind, "We both need to move on."

"I am not giving up." Regina said firmly but softly this time.

"No, that's what you're doing here."

"Emma, I don't want our last meeting to end like this, please."

"Okay... I need to clear my head, have some air. Let's meet again tomorrow."

Emma turned her back and walked towards the door. She held the door knob, and said, "Tomorrow, we say our goodbyes. Not today, this is too much for you to spring on me. I need time to comprehend this."

Emma opened the door and left. Regina sank to the couch as slowly tears ran down from her eyes.

*  
"I have been thinking maybe you shouldn't even have come back to me. Saying goodbye the second time may be hurting us more."

Regina somehow knows that this separation will hurt Emma more than her. They may have both lost a lot of people and things, and both are strong anyway but Regina somehow knows that Emma will suffer more from this. Maybe because Emma keeps losing people she's in romantic relationships with.

"No, don't say that, Regina. Don't, okay?"

Tears start falling from Regina's eyes as she smiled. Emma continued to speak, "I'd rather have this second chance with you. I'd rather have all the chances with you than none at all."

"I'd rather have all the chances with you than none at all." Regina echoed what Emma said. They smiled at each other as tears keep falling from their eyes. They kissed slowly for what felt like an eternity.

"I know it hurts. I know it seems impossible now but eventually we will be okay. We both need to move on." Regina gently said those words so both of them can be attuned to reality.

Regina wasn't surprised when Emma responded to her. Because as much as she thinks Emma will break longer than her, she also knows Emma is strong enough to go through with this. "Yes, Regina, my love, we both need to move on." And Emma truly meant that.

A black smoke engulfed Emma and just like that, Regina was left alone, again.

Both of them are alone. Emma has her family but her life is not complete without Regina, which would lead her to take a drastic measure.


	3. Chapter 3

"I need you to erase my memories of Regina."

"Is that so?"

"Yes, Gold. I lost Regina twice now. I don't regret having a second chance with her, even if it's short. But now, she's right. It's double the pain and I can't take it anymore. I don't want to see myself spiraling into vices. She wouldn't want that too so I am taking the best step here."

"But this would be irrevocable for a long time. There may be some way to bring back your memories if you want or if circumstance asks you to but it would be difficult." Rumple spoke firmly.

"It's alright. Let's do it. I just need to have my life back. Without Regina's presence in my life. Because I swear, Gold, I might just descend into darkness without a dark one curse. I may even take the dagger from you if it becomes worse. Is this why you are helping me?"

"Yes. Only I should be the Dark One." Rumple spoke arrogantly but Emma didn't care. But Rumple's next words struck a chord in her.

"And because I want to help Regina's love. She and I had our arguments and occasionally, passionately tried to kill each other, but we were also friends, somehow. I want to do right by her." Emma was surprised to hear that but even more so by the next words of the current Dark One.

"And you, Emma, was loved by my dear son. And you are the mother of my only grandson. More than I need to, I want to do right by them."

"Wow, I never thought you're like this. I always have thought you only care for Belle and Neal."

"The Dark One is full of surprises. We do things that are unpredictable. You know that."

"Yes. I've had my share of that dagger. So can we start now?"

"Alright, in order for me to erase your memories using a potion that I will brew, we need to pinpoint the exact moment you fell in love or at least recognised the fact that you love Regina."

"You gave my mother a potion before to forget my dad. Can you not give me something like that?"

"I knew you would ask that. This one is different, Emma. You want a permanent loss of Regina in your life. As I've said there may be a loophole and you may still remember her at some point. The thing is, dearie, this is magic that I have not tried before. I am actually taking a page, literally, from Zelena's magic book. We may be all annoyed by her but that bitch witch gets the job done, and we have seen that from her numerous times."

"So you are not sure about this?"

"Well Zelena isn't here. She was exiled to Oz by Regina. Even if she's here, I doubt she'll help. Why would she help Regina's love move on?"

"Okay. It's worth a try. So it's when I first saw her, when Henry brought me to her."

"Okay, let's try this." Rumple waved the dagger following carefully the instructions in Zelena's magic book.

"It's not working, Emma. Wrong memory. You have to be honest here."

"So it's when she and I saved everyone by doing that spell in the mines. I saw how caring and changed she was."

Rumple tried again but to no avail. "We should take a day off and have you wrestle with your thoughts."

"All I do is wrestle with my thoughts and feelings and it's all driving me crazy. I need this to all stop now!"

"Then be honest, Swan! Tell me the moment you first fell in love with Regina!"

After all the screaming and the heat of that exchange, Emma slowly, softly spoke,

"It's when... It's when we were all in Neverland saving Henry. I already saw how she cared about Henry but in there I saw more of that. I also just lost Neal then and I knew that he and I were over, even if he comes back, which he did. I just transferred my feelings to Hook because I know the concept of 'Emma and Regina' was too big, too complex, too weird for everyone especially for me. Which by the time that Regina and I revelaed our feelings for each other, she admitted she thought the same. But even if it's too complex for me back then, it was also too simple. She and I complement and belong to each other, as simple as that, right?"

"I understand how 'complex and simple' are synonymous to each other when it come to true love."

"Right, you and Belle have that too."

"Yes. So let me try this one now.' Rumple waved his dagger and a purple light emerged and a vial of liquid dropped in his hand. "Drink, and let's see how it works."

Emma drank the potion.

Rumple asked, to double check, "Who is Regina?"

"Regina is a monster who hurt my parents. She doesn't care about Henry; she just pretends. It's a good thing she's not here anymore."

Rumple was shocked at the sudden change but also pleased that even if this is the case, he is helping Emma.


	4. Chapter 4

"And you're telling me this now?" Regina in fury, created a fireball and threw it in the air.

"I only discovered it yesterday, dearie. You should be thanking me that I went all this way to tell you because I did not have to." Rumple teased her. He likes seeing her furious even if he had every intention to bring her back to life anyway.

"Why did you come here? Do you really want to bring me back?"

"Wrong question, dearie. Do you want to be back and alive in Storybrooke? That is the question you should be asking."

"Of course, I do! I miss Emma and Henry. But how can this work now? The spell you found clearly says that Emma needs to want to bring me back. She doesn't even remember me."

"That wouldn't be a problem. What's meant to be will eventually happen. I am telling you, Emma will want to bring you back in no time. I don't even need to do anything, dearie."

"You better be right, Gold. Hope is a dangerous thing. A false hope, especially from me is even more dangerous for you."

"You won't be able to do that. I am the one who went here to help you. You can't even find a way on your own to go back to the land of the living."

"Oh don't underestimate me. And believe me, I have been looking for ways to go back to Emma and Henry."

*  
Rumple brought Emma to where Regina was.

Emma stood there and felt like Regina was foreign to her apart from the hatred she also felt for her, which is why it was suprising when she spoke.

"I don't feel like I love you." Regina closed her eyes upon hearing Emma's piercing words. It's as if a thousand swords are thrown at her all at once. They say, to forget is to die a little, but for Regina it is only a feeling of death.

"Hey, open your eyes, Regina." Regina opened her eyes as she felt the sweetness of how Emma spoke of her name.

"I may not feel like I love you. In fact, I only have hate feelings for you right now but I trust my family - my parents and especially Henry. They say we loved each other. It doesn't make sense to me but I want to give this a try. I want to bring you back. I may not remember what we have but I want you back. I want the best chance for both of us and I don't want to wait any longer."

"Emma. Miss Swan."

"Okay, maybe call me that later because right now it makes me furious. But hey, I want you back."

"And that's what we all need, dearies. Emma wanting you back sincerely. Let me try this spell now."

Rumple waved his dagger and a moment after they are in Regina's vault.

"So that worked. I'll leave you two." Rumple waved his dagger and was out of the room in an instant.

"Emma, thank you for wanting me back."

"I will always want you with me and we will always find each other. Even if one of us don't comprehend it much."

Indeed, things may not make sense but true love always finds a way.

"Miss Swan..."

"I have missed that."

They both smiled. They kissed slowly and as time passed it became passionate. Their lips broke apart, their foreheads bumping to each other with smile of true happiness in their lips.


End file.
